


Green Eyes Waiting

by Blue_Jay



Series: Remove All the Pieces + Prompts [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Established Relationship, F/M, Fairy Tales, Fluff and Angst, Gift Fic, Honesty, POV Lisa Braeden, Purgatory, Season/Series 06, Season/Series 07, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Jay/pseuds/Blue_Jay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Lisa expected was a panicked Sam Winchester knocking on her door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green Eyes Waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Velvet_Dark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Velvet_Dark/gifts).



> Yeah I meant to write this ages ago. It technically connects with a Meg/Sam I was supposed to write which fit with the Remove All the Pieces series, so there's a lot of references to that. I swear Meg/Sam will eventually be written. Once I stop having panic attacks over essays.
> 
> Note: Happens in place of 6.13. And I'm cutting out Slash Fiction just so Lisa doesn't get fucked over.
> 
> Also! So, the other series takes place in its own little universe where I won't get into the events of season nine, but with the Meg/Sam story, this one will. I just have to wait a while before I can get that one out. The only reason two stories match up with the other series is because the next story is a sequel. If that makes any sense.

It's a Saturday at noon when Lisa gets the frantic knocking on the door. The noise takes her by surprise, leaves her a little scared - paranoid reflexes left over from over a year with Dean.

"I have to go," she tells Matt the Doctor and hangs up mid-goodbye, already at the door, trying to remember where she'd stashed that gun because her intuition is going crazy right now. Finding Sam Winchester on the other side is both a relief and not the thing she wanted to see. Schooling her facial expression, she asks, "What do you want?"

Then she realizes that was a really, really bad way to word the question because this is  _Sam_ without  _Dean_ and his panic isn't as well hidden as he probably wants to be. "Look, I know I'm the last person you probably want to deal with right now, though I don't remember what I did, but my brother's in trouble," he says in a rush, sounding completely different from two months ago and taking her too much by surprise to interrupt. "There was this witch who had a thing with fairy tales whose spell didn't go away when I ganked her and I can't find the hex bag and we're less than two hours away so I figure maybe possibly you can probably do something. I can understand why wouldn't, but  _please._ He's supposedly only got 'til noon."

His eyes are big and pleading, for once looking like a puppy the way Dean always described him as. Dean who's apparently dying. She might not like Sam, but he's never done anything to hurt her or Ben before. And she's not so hot on the idea of her ex-boyfriend being in trouble, especially if she can do something about it. 

Without much thought on the matter, she says, "Okay. Lead the way."

He does, even going so far as to open the passenger door for her in a distracted way that means it's a habit. After he gets in too and stutters out a thank you, she calls up Kathryn, Tommy's mom, and asks if Ben can stay later. Naturally the woman agrees because as much as Lisa hates it, Kathryn's under the impression her son needs an extra parental figure since he doesn't have a dad. Or since Dean "left," as she put it that one time before she realized that wasn't the smartest thing to say. Because he might be out of the picture now, but Lisa isn't any less defensive.

That, and she really, really hates single mom pity. 

For the first maybe half hour, the car ride is uncomfortably quiet. Eventually she can't take it anymore and asks, "What did you mean about not remembering?"

Immediately the discomfort level increases tenfold. Sam fidgets. She's not surprised. Stupid Winchesters and their secrets. "I, uh," he starts, but pauses. "Did Dean tell you what...happened to me? Before I came back. Apparently."

 _Apparently._ How cryptic. "Yeah, once," she answers, "but that's not exactly the sort of thing you forget."

A moment of silence. Then, "A demon pulled me out. Just didn't get it right. Went in body and all, kind of missed my soul. Dean got it back. I don’t remember anything and I'm not allowed to, but I guess you should know that whatever I did to screw up, I would  _never_ do with an actual conscience and I'm really sorry."

She stares at him blankly before her mind catches up. Losing his soul sounds unbelievable, but if it were to happen to anyone, it  _would_ be one of these two. It's also pretty interesting that he seems under the automatic assumption that he caused what happened between her and Dean. "You didn't do anything," she tells him and it's true; you can't fault a guy from coming back from Hell. That's cruel. It's just that Dean's habit of not explaining anything got worse, his paranoia increased, and she wasn't prepared to go through that. "Your brother and I just had a falling out."

"And now he isn't picking up the phone."

"How did you know?"

"He's my brother. There's not much he doesn't that I don't pick up on."

Even though she figures that this is inevitable, it really does prove the point she never wanted to say out loud. "Oh."

Again, he fidgets. "I'm really sorry," he repeats. "I think he was finally going to stop being an idiot and call back a few days, but, um, I had a seizure." He smiles, small and humorless. "Guess my timing is just as perfect as usual."

"A seizure?" she asks, having trouble following along because Sam seems under the impression that his brother told her a lot more than he actually did. 

"Yeah," he answers. "If I remember, I die. Or so Dean says."

She thinks this is a warning not to say anything or at least not go too in depth. The rest of the ride passes in silence. 

 

 

So the witch chose Sleeping Beauty. Lisa's not sure if she's special or if Sam just wasn't willing to risk another girl as a time waster, so she tries not to be flattered when the whole kiss-to-wake-up thing works. And she has a few hours left before she has to pick up Ben, so Dean buys her lunch and his brother hangs back to clean up the motel room. This is over, she tries to remind herself, but he's wearing that red shirt she got him and the sunlight turns his eyes their brightest shade of green.

It's just that he owes her some answers, she thinks. That's it.

"I didn't find out until after the truth curse was over," he says. "I would've told you otherwise."

This is a town overlooking a river and he leans back against the rail, keeping the motel in sight. Probably he's scared about another seizure. Even if their thing weren't so unhealthy, Lisa imagines it would still be hard waiting on something like that. Not that she understands how the Wall thing works exactly. Or at all. "I'm sorry about that," she says with total sincerity. "That was harsher than I ever thought about, if that makes any sense."

When he nods, he seems resigned to it. "You aren't the first person to say something like that," he tells her, more honest than he has been so far. "We crashed a mental hospital for a case a while back, got a legit diagnosis of codependency. Not exactly something I wanted to explain."

Codependency. Right. "Ever think of getting help?"

His shoulders tense up. "Yeah, we're about twenty-seven years, two trips to Hell, and a whole Apocalypse too late for that, Lis."

"Two trips?"

"We've got a history."

She doesn't press; this is pushing her luck too much already. 

"I should get home," she says, throwing out her paper plate. "I need to finish something for work and pick up Ben."

He nods, takes out his keys. They've already talked about her and Ben. He said he was temporarily turned into a vampire and Sam had a cure and that's what happened last time. He still loves them, she can tell. She's never doubted that, either, and she and her son definitely still love him and probably always will. She's just not sure she's willing to let someone with a life this crazy back into theirs or if he's willing to expose them to anymore than he already has. How against Ben touching anything hunter related he was is proof enough.

But then again, codependency and all that and Sam's not quite psychotic anymore. Except that, no, she's not entertaining this idea. Not anymore. And definitely not after seeing him again  _once._

They talk on the way back, mostly focusing on her and Ben again despite her being even more curious now. When they finally reach her house about two hours later, he tells her his number's not changing anytime soon and next time he'll pick up or at least call back if he's not able to get to the phone. She doesn't make any promises that she'll call and tells herself she won't.

 

 

This resolution lasts three weeks and it's all her sister's fault because Sally had to say the wrong thing and Lisa really hates love. 

Pretty much as expected, he doesn't pick up right away. He does call back quick enough, though. " _Sorry_ ," he says, sounding out breath. " _Wendigo are a bitch to kill. What's up?_ "

She has to run through her mental catalogue of monsters to remember what a Wendigo is. "Do you to come over for dinner Saturday?" she asks, already thinking this is a shitty idea. "Sam can come too."

A voice she doesn't recognize says something on the other line. " _Uh, okay_ ," he answers, sounding just as awkward as she feels. " _Is six okay? We'll probably be at Bobby's_."

"Six is fine. What does Sam like?"

" _Salad and stuff. Kind of what you eat_."

At least someone in the family is healthy, then. "Easy enough," she says.

They finish making plans. From behind her, Ben asks, "Who was that?" with the guarded tone that means he doesn't want her to go on another date. Not even two years and Dean became irreplaceable. How typical. At least her son has the excuse of more than a weekend. 

Very carefully, she tells him the truth and watches his whole face light up. Jesus Christ, if Dean tries to use the protection card like she's a Disney princess without letting her have a say, she'll kill him. Almost as an afterthought, she adds, "And Sam," because she still isn't sure what to think. Ben never really interacted with him, so the change won't be too noticeable.

"Is he coming back?" her son says hopefully.

"No," she answers. "Or at least not like before."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

"Mom, you promised."

She sighs. "It's complicated," she says again. "Dean's - and his brother, I guess - they aren't normal. He loves us, but sometimes that isn't enough. This can happen in relationships even without monsters getting involved. I know you hate it when we say this, but you'll understand when you're older."

He doesn't look happy with the information, but he doesn't ask for elaboration either. "What about the come back after a hunt thing?"

She really wishes she didn't have to explain this until she had time to figure this out for herself. "We'll see."

Since Ben is only twelve, so young and innocent still, he accepts this as a good enough answer.

 

 

"I told Cas we're off limits for the night," Dean says as they gather food to put on the table. Sam's helping Ben with his homework where they're working on the American government and law making and how much he'll know on Monday will be interesting. Pre-law major at Stanford. Dean never mentioned that. "So no disappearing. Promise."

"What's going on that you'd need to disappear for?" she says, picking up the salad bowl. Finally, someone to share veggies with since her son hates them too.

Dean's lips go thin with annoyance or worry or more likely both. "Apparently Heaven's having some civil war thing and Hell's not so great either," he answers. "Cas keeps popping in but other than 'it's bad' he hasn't explained anything. Not that vague answers are all that unusual for the guy."

This sounds less like he's doing this as a favor and more like he's relieved. Sam sees them coming over and helps Ben clear away his textbooks. "It looks great, Lisa," he says with a cautious smile.

"There's an organic market the town over, so the lettuce is actually good," she tells him, taking a seat. "I'm sure you don't get that all that often with your brother's obsession with diners."

"Hey!"

Sam smiles again, a little less careful. The dynamic is different - Dean's not necessarily  _happier_ , but he seems more relaxed. Like the old him that developed about two months into their year together. Ben's absolutely enthralled and she's pretty sure that's not a good thing. New dynamic or not, the Winchester are danger magnets. "Dean," Sam says, exasperated, before turning to her. "It's good. Better than diner food. Thanks."

Dinner passes quick enough, Dean eating too fast as usual and conversation coming easy. He makes her laugh a lot, which isn't supposed to happen. This was supposed to be about closure, but her resolve on that end is steadily fading. The fact that Sam all normal again turns out to be enjoyable company too definitely isn't helping since that was a big dividing point last time. Ben looks happier than he has in three months, hanging on to every word even though at twelve, he can't understand everything they're talking about; as much as the brothers obviously try, it's difficult to avoid the subject of hunting.

This is quickly turning into a very bad idea. It's too easy to become star struck with Dean and his stupid, stupid green eyes. She means to find a polite way to ask them to leave, but Ben turns on that Pity Me Please pout and asks them if they can stay for a movie. Dean looks at her uncertainly, but there's a smidgeon of hope there too and against her better judgment, she gives him a small nod.

"'Course, kid," he answers with a grin. "What've you got this time?"

They end up with  _Thor_ because he might be young, but Ben's not clueless and picked up on what freaks out Dean pretty early on. It's relatively recent, too, with Natalie Portman, who's one of her favorite actors, and Christ Hemsworth makes for great eye candy, so she might not find superhero movies attention grabbing (how can she, when she knows real ones save the world by watching their brother throw himself into Hell?), so at least there's that. She folds herself on the couch next to Dean, feet pressed against his thighs. Both men wince when Loki is introduced (who's played by some guy whose name she can't place but is also stunningly attractive). 

Even though the movement wasn't obvious, she still picked up on it. "We met him," he tells her, noticing the look she gives him, too low for Ben to hear. "Or, fake him anyway. He was actual an angel playing pagan god."

Valhalla or Asgard or whatever it's called in the movie is beautifully done. Dean is also being beautifully honest with her. "Are you okay with watching this?"

"Yeah, fine," he says. "The guy was a dick, but he died letting us get away. He was really short though."

"How short?"

"Like, maybe an inch taller than you."

Chris Hemsworth is Sam's height according to her nephew's girlfriend, so the guy playing Loki must be about Dean's. "Oh." She pauses, watches Natalie Portman have her equipment confiscated by men in suits. "What about Thor? Ever meet him?"

Dean shakes his head. "Met Odin, though," he answers. "Casting's actually not too far off on that one. And I don't know if we've met any other Norse gods." Then, at a slightly more normal tone, "Hey, Sammy, we know anyway else?"

"Uh," his brother goes to say and Lisa realizes that Ben probably didn't hear the conversation, but Sam definitely did and not in the eavesdropping way. No wonder he looks so focused on the TV screen. "Wasn't that one years ago Norse? In the apple orchard when I met Meg."

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that one." Ben now leans in, listening too. "Anyway, I don't know if we ever even learned his name but that one isn't in this. He was a scarecrow. Jesus, that was what, six, seven years ago?"

"About seven."

He glances back at her now, half his mouth curled up in a smile. "Secretly a frost giant  _does_ beat secretly an archangel, though."

It's a little screwed up that she understands that sentence without having to think about it, or that she doesn't question it. She imagines being told all this is real when she was twenty and they met and shudders at the thought. "Well, good to know you can deal with superhero movies."

"His favorite is Batman," Sam says from the chair, one knee pulled up to his chest. "He dragged me to go see the Nolan movies."

"Hey, you liked them."

With a shrug, he says, "I'm not saying I didn't."

It actually freaks Lisa out how different they are, soul or no soul. Especially considering the vampire thing, she really wishes Dean had called and explained. Or been honest in general. Which he wasn't.

Yeah, this was a terrible idea.

When the movie is over and Ben is in bed and the table's cleared off, Sam gives her an awkward thank you and returns her hug before saying he'll wait out in the car. "Thanks," Dean says too. "It was nice."

 _It was nice._ Not a very Dean-like thing to say, but she knows him well enough to tell it's genuine. "Yeah," she says, running her fingers through her hair. This is genuine, too. "Yeah, it was."

"I can call you if you want," he tells her, "if I change my number. When I change my number."

She bites her bottom lip, thinking. While she's spent a while thinking this is a bad idea because he's a  _hunter_ and that makes him  _dangerous_ and  _paranoid_ , he's definitely more focused than last time. Or something. And Ben's happier than he has been in a while, she feels lighter. He's just so...Dean.

"That would be great," she answers. Then she adds, "We should do this again," because he just looks so hopeful it's heartbreaking and once Best Weekend of My Life Dean lets you in, falling out love just doesn't seem possible. Maybe if Ben didn't like him so much she wouldn't be so quick. "If you can."

"Call. I'll make it."

He bends down, uncharacteristically tentative, and gives her a short kiss before leaving.

 

 

They do it again. Then they do it a third time. Dean initiated that one and Sam's not there, apparently sleeping off a panic attack at Bobby's. He explains this privately, not around Ben who's ended up attached to his brother too, which Lisa thinks is probably a good thing; she and Dean both pushed him to do his homework and Sam helping him out twice finally gets him to start. Go figure. 

In the end, though, it's different. Just...different. She doesn't know who slapped some sense into him - Sam, Bobby, that angel friend she really wants to meet - but he at least appears more open than he was before. So she doesn't think it's not that much of a leap when she suggests they give it another shot. 

"We'd have a lot to work on," she say, "but if it were up to me, I'd like to not cut you out. I know the risks. Ben too."

Dean worries his bottom lip, and she thinks he still doesn't trust her. That was harsh, but lack of trust is still backwards. "Yeah," he says finally. "I've never -" He looks down, breaking eye contact. "It's always been you, Lis. So I'm scared. I want to try and if you want to, we can. But things are heating up and it's not going to be long before me and Sam are put back on the radar, so I'm giving you the heads up that I'll get pretty paranoid."

"I'm a big girl, Dean. We'll figure it out. Together this time, okay?"

"Okay."

He cracks open a beer, leans back against the counter and checks his cell phone again. She's resigned herself to the truth that the relationship this time around will be different in more ways than one. Earlier she looked up codependency too and learned a lot more than she thought she would. Twenty-seven years too late, he said. "Still nothing?" she asks. 

"Nah," he answers. "Bobby would've called if something was wrong. And the Wall was still intact when he woke up, so..."

Even though he (awkwardly) explained what this "Wall" is, Lisa still doesn't get it. Dean's so sure it'll stay strong, too. She just wonders if she should start preparing for the fallout.

Ben's home, so they don't do anything, but he wraps her up in his arms and it's weird as fuck because suddenly he's her boyfriend again. Still, she doesn't complain, and wakes up hours later to find him still asleep next to her.

 

 

Her house becomes something of a common crashing place for the Winchesters when they're in the area, which isn't as often as she'd like. Dean calls at least once a day if he can and most times if he can't either he or Sam shoot her a text saying they're okay. Everyone thinks she's in a long distance relationship with a man from South Dakota. Ben keeps it up even though she hates teaching dishonesty to her son and when he's here, Dean will pick him up from school. Sometimes the two will do it as a surprise if the time his day ends corresponding with their way over.

It feels like a dream, but the injuries they show up with act as constant reminders that he - they - can die any day now. 

Now it's a Tuesday and Dean shows up alone. "Sam had another seizure," he says when asked, following her over to the couch and taking a seat. "Bobby threatened us with the shotgun if he left the house for at least another twenty-four hours."

Even though she's never seen one of Sam's seizures, she knows they're bad. Apparently after his last one, it took him three hours to get back into speaking English again. "Well, it's a long weekend and I don't have work," she says, checking the time for when Ben will be home. "We could've gone to you. You keep saying we can and we haven't seen Bobby in a while."

Shaking his head, he tells her, "Not right now. Bobby's friend just died and he's not fun to be around when he drunk and depressed, especially for Ben. Sam's fine there, though. Bobby might actually keep to a minimum for him since I'm not around. So next time, okay?"

"Christmas?"

"Christmas."

Then Ben's home, rushing through the door, and his whole face lights up when he sees Dean. She really does appreciate that her son isn't one of those boy who stopped liking hugs at the age of ten. Dean ruffles his hair. "How was school, kiddo?"

"Sucked," her son answers, backing up, and she frowns; this isn't the first time he's said this. "Mrs. Fliechel gave us  _weekend_ homework."

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, Ben, she  _must_ be evil," she says, and adjusts the vase of sunflowers on the coffee table Dean got her because for someone so totally against romance, he sure figured out what she liked pretty quick. Actually, she's pretty sure she mentioned she liked sunflowers back when she was twenty and he just sort of remembered. "What is it?"

"We have to read and outline this," he says, pulling some thin book out of his backpack.  _The Boy Who Owned the School,_ it's called. "We read the first chapter in class. It's stupid."

"Every book you read in school is stupid," Dean points out. 

"Are you staying all weekend still? Where's Sam?"

Lisa chances a look at him that he returns. "Probably," he answers because he very rarely gives definites just to avoid disappointment. So far, though, he's been pretty good about coming over or sticking around when he says he will. "But Sam's sick, so I might need to take a drive to South Dakota if I get a call."

"Will he be okay?" 

Something on Dean's face says it might not be for the first time since this started and fuck if that doesn't scare her. "Yeah, he'll be fine."

Ben nods, that answer good enough for him, and kicks off his shoes before running upstairs. Must recognize this as Grown Up Time, or maybe he just really wants to try out whatever that video game is that her sister sent him - some fantasy game Kyle didn't want that Paul sent here and considering that her son got kidnapped by changelings at eight and has seen both Sam and Dean injured often enough, she doesn't bothering checking a game as long as it isn't rated M. She asks, "Is something going on that you're not telling me about?" because she thought they were past this.

Of course, Dean isn’t looking at her, though, taking back his seat, because he excels at that avoiding eye contact maneuver all men try when they want to avoid a conversation. "Remember how I told you me and Sam were going to end up on the radar sooner or later?" he answers and she nods. "Well, we did. Monsters aren't the same as demons, though - they won't use you and Ben for bait. They're more of the direct approach type."

When she let him back in - or both of them, technically - she knew the risks. And that stress over his own safety was the definite. Even so, that doesn't make this any easier. "Do you have an idea what you're going to do?"

Unfortunately, the headshake is expected. "Sammy said he'd hit the books once the knockout pills wore off, so probably about an hour ago," Dean says, carding his fingers through his hair. "Cas is helping us out, too, and I  _think_ another angel but that's....questionable. We'll be fine, Lis." After a short pause, he adds, "Don't give me that look. We'll live and Cas'll fix up whatever damage we get in the process."

"Yeah, well make sure he does, okay?" She listens closely for Ben, but all she can hear is the TV going in his room. "You don't get to die on my in under two years, you understand, Dean?"

"Yeah, I understand."

It's not until then that she realizes she's shaking. "No, Dean," she insists, moving over so she's sitting on his lap and rendering it impossible for him to move, "you have to promise. When this goes through - I don't care what state you or your brother come back in, or if something new shows up and you have to do this all over again. I need you to promise me that you'll come back and we keep making this work. Together."

But he's already tightening his grip on her even before she finishes, plants a kiss in her hair and presses his face to her shoulder. "I promise," he says, quiet but clear. "I'll make it back."

Falling in love is the worst decision Lisa's ever made.

 

 

Somehow, Ben ends up without a scratch from a demon kidnapping, a defected best friend angel healed her when she was left for dead, and Dean's telling her there's a way to wipe all memory of him and everything that has to do with him from the two of them if she wants. She guesses she should be thankful he's at least asking her and suspects an fight with Sam had something to do with it. 

They break out into an inevitable argument - originally just supposed to be her and Dean, but Ben gets wrapped in there too. It's bullshit, all about how they're safer without him even though whether they remembered or not, they're still a soft spot for him and it's better to be prepared. And he  _promised_ her to figure it out  _together_ and this isn't what she'd classify as "together." Ben's saying he doesn't care if that demon lied or not, he still thinks of Dean as his dad and he doesn't want to forget his family. It goes in circles for about another half hour before they win and she orders their son to go to his room, something she hasn't done since he was five. Even though it's reluctantly, he does.

For a moment, there's a very tense silence. Then Dean says, "That demon was lying, right?"

"Unless something got to the DNA tests twelve and a half years ago, then no," she answers because she knew this question was going to come up. And honestly, the similarities between him and Ben sometimes freak her out and she really does have to wonder if something intervened. He's given her a rant about Heaven and its plans before and, well, she's  _never_ saying that out loud (she's not sure if it's because she wants it to be true or if she doesn't, but both options suck). "I knew Andy. He wasn't too hard to find." She gives a humorless smile. "Used to wish he was yours, though. Just one long weekend together and it was like I already knew."

Dean nods, twitches like he wants a drink, and outside it starts to snow. "You're an idiot," he says bluntly and she pretends to miss that sniffle. "Only people who want to be around me are Sam and Bobby. And Sam's a complete masochist, so no surprise there."

"Oh shut up." He doesn't look up. "Don't I get a choice? Doesn't Ben? You had no idea your best friend was going to fuck you over and we're both here. Wiping our memories will make it worse, not better. And my choice - our choice, if the past year and a half is anything to go by - is that we want a future with you."

"Part-time like this, Lisa? You two deserve someone stable."

"But we want  _you!_ " She's crying now, doesn't feel weak for it because with everything that's gone down these past few days, she thinks she has the right. "I thought it was working. Was I wrong?"

Again, silence. "No," he says, resolve breaking. "It was. It really fucking was."

"Then can we try?"

"We're upping the warding on your house," he answers. "I'll keep it hidden. And we're adding angel warding too."

Hell, that's the best compromise in the  _world._ "Deal," she says immediately, and something tells her she won't regret it.

 

 

She doesn't regret it, but that doesn't mean everything's peaches and cream either. Mr. Angel Gone God breaks Sam's head before releasing more world ending monster things and Kathryn said Ben can stay for a weekend. Despite her son's protests, she dropped him off, blatantly ignored the other woman's pity at having a long distance boyfriend (Lisa is seriously sick of her, but Tommy is Ben's best friend so she's stuck), and takes a trip to South Dakota.

Sam is still out cold when she arrives. According to Dean, he's just sleeping, not in coma. Something about the way he says it makes her think that's happened more than once. 

"Fucking  _Cas_ did it," he tells her even though she already knows, glancing at his prone body on the couch. There's a bandage wrapped around his hand. She can't decide if he looks like a two-year-old or a puppy in his sleep. "As if it couldn't get any worse. I mean, Jesus Christ, the guy brought us back in time in the middle of the Apocalypse just to save his ass and now broke his head like it was no big deal."

Even though she's never made friends quite as intensely as they do, she knows what backstabbing feels like and can only imagine how much worse this must be. "How bad?"

Taking a shaky breath, Dean answers, "I don't know yet. After Cas died, he made it to the car and hasn't been awake since. He got caught in a flashback while there. I'll wake him up in a couple of hours."

Thank God she decided to leave Ben with Tommy, she thinks. "So is this going to be supernatural PTSD," she asks, "or can-cure-with-medication PTSD?"

Dean shrugs. "Time in Hell's accelerated, Lisa," he answers. "He had a seizure a while back, said two minutes felt like a week. I originally thought he was down there for one hundred eighty years, but - well, let’s just say I don't even know how he woke up."

"The human brain can be pretty amazing sometimes," she says, though the excuse sounds weak even to herself. Truth is, sometimes trauma can be bad enough the mind just blocks it out or so she's read. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Yeah."

"You're going to take care of this too?" she says because she knows him. 

"Cas was our friend and now he's dead. Don't have much of a choice." He leans back and his head thuds lightly against the wall. "Besides, we're the only ones who  _can._ That's the problem. And we can't exactly show anyone else how to do it because half the hunting community is afraid of us."

Really, she can't imagine being afraid of either of them - or at least as long as Sam has a soul - but this isn't the first time he's said this so she isn't surprised. "Well, call at least once a day, make it over as often as you can," she says. "And if you and Sam talk it out and think you want to try a psychiatrist, there's always the CVS in town for refills."

"God," he said, reaching out to move her hair away from her face. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

 

 

" _Look, Lis, I know I said we'd come up but we're kind of stranded in Montana. Fucking Leviathan broke my leg. Sam got slammed in the head with a crowbar._ "

Ben's going to be disappointed. She's just worried. "You at least went to the hospital, right?"

" _Yeah. Got a cast and meds and stuff. Sam's barely got a concussion. Think we might've gotten his hallucinations under control too._ "

"That's good. When's the next time I can see you?"

" _Well I get the cast off in three weeks. You can come here whenever or we'll just head there right after._ "

"I'll talk to Ben."

This life isn't meant to make sense, but it does to her, anyway. 

 

 

Even Advil doesn't work on Sam apparently, so they don't go for the meds, but they do swing by at least once a week, which is new.

"How does he manage to get over here all the time?" Laurie, her favorite coworker, asks because every time he's here Dean will swing by to give her coffee or lunch or most times just to let her know he showed because he never makes it before she leaves for work. "I thought he was from South Dakota."

Lying still isn't something she enjoys, but now she's used to it. Makes it easier on everyone. "His house burned down," she answers because that isn't strictly speaking untrue. "Arson, actually. And his brother lives in the exact midpoint between us and where he works so the drive sucks either way, but still."

"Oh god that's awful!" Yeah, it really is. The place might've been a mess, but she really liked Bobby's house. Ben had too, since the junkyard was good for sulking (Dean said Sam used to do the same thing). Then Laurie smiles slyly. "At least you get him, though, right? Every cloud has a silver lining."

Lisa laughs. "Yeah, true," she says. "And I get an excess number of Starbucks coffees."

"So when do I get to meet him? Like,  _really_ meet him."

She takes a pause. Keeping the Winchesters relatively unknown is a the best thing she can think of, time with her boyfriend is something she'd rather spend when they don't need to speak in half truths every other sentence, and Sam might say he has everything under control but she has a feeling that's more denial than anything else (and did Dean  _really_ have to use a pressure point as a coping mechanism? there are much healthier ways to pull that off). "He's usually not here for long," she says. "Maybe next time?"

"Yeah, sure!"

They don't talk about Dean for the rest of the day, and Lisa makes sure to dodge anymore self-invites. 

 

 

He shows up after Ben's asleep and it's a bad flashback to after Sam died, but Sam's here this time, looking completely spaced out while Dean looks wrecked. "Bobby died," he mumbles, going in for the hug immediately. "Shot in the head."

Even though they hadn't started speaking often until about four months ago, hearing this still hits her hard. She also knows, more objectively, that this will probably lead into another  _you're safer without me_ fights when the numbness wears off. "How 'bout you come to wash up and come to bed?" she says and spares a glance over his shoulder to where Sam's pressing down on that scar, looking somewhere off to the left. "Both of you should get some sleep."

Dean doesn't even protest, just slips the house key he still had loosely grasped in his hand back in his pocket and follows her dazed upstairs. Sam's levelheaded enough to mumble about taking a shower and heads to the one across from the guest room. Even though they've probably woken up Ben by this point, he doesn't come out to see what's going on; the brothers showing up past about nine is never a good thing. Last time this happened, Sam was barely holding it together and her boyfriend was suffering from a minor allergic reaction to a bunch of bee stings they didn't go to the ER for because apparently the wait was around five hours. 

Yeah, sometimes she thinks she deserves a metal for half the things she does.

They shower together, Lisa scrubbing away the blood instead of letting him do it himself and though he's definitely in shock, he isn't injured much past a couple of scrapes and some bruises. For bed, he just slips on a pair of fresh boxers and pads after her, falling under the comforters and shutting his eyes immediately. She doesn't take it personally that they don't touch through the night. 

 

 

" _Sam got hit by a car_ ," Dean tells her on a Tuesday, voice strained and exhausted and she stops shaking the pasta. " _Physically he's fine but even hardcore sedatives aren't knocking him out and Doc's signed him into an institution._ "

"An institution," she repeats, the words leaving a bad taste in her mouth because last she checked, meds weren't working. "He's going to be okay, though, right?"

There's a pause before her boyfriend answers, " _He hasn't slept in six days, Lisa. I've been calling contacts looking for a cure and I might've found one. I'm driving there now._ "

"What is it?"

" _A faith healer. Normally I don't trust the bastards but it's the best I got._ "

A while ago, before the Wall broke and Dean had pulled something else self-sacrificing and idiotic, Sam was pissed off and a little high on pain pills and explained about the last faith healer they dealt with. She wants to say to not do anything stupid, but there's no point in wasting words. "Well, call me when you find him," she says instead. "Or her."

" _Him. And yeah, I promise._ "

"I love you. Stay safe."

" _Love you too. Bye, Lis._ "

The line clicks closed and she gets ready for work. 

 

 

When they show up, it's dark out and dinner time so no neighbors are looking out their windows so watch Dean help a half-asleep Sam walk (or more like drag) up the stairs to the house. "Shouldn't've just left 'im there, Dean," she hears him say as she comes down, watching them take off their shoes. "S'not with Meg."

"Shut up, Sammy, I'm sure your girlfriend will take good care of him."

"Not my girlfriend." He catches sight of her. "Hi, Lisa."

For once, she gives him the hug first and then Dean. Thank god it's Rory's turn to do the carpool back from basketball practice or she'd be gone right now. "How're you feeling?" she asks, the question directed at both of them because Sam's more obviously the wreck but she knows her boyfriend well enough to be able to tell he is too.

"Like I could sleep for eleven days," Sam answers when Dean doesn't say anything right away. "I think I'm gunna go crash, if you guys don't mind."

On normal occasions, she’d tell him to eat something first (which he wouldn’t because he’s _Sam_ ), but he looks like he's about to drop dead. "Need any help upstairs?" his brother asks, but he just shakes his head and says something incoherent under his breath that Dean must understand because it brings out the hint of a smile. "Fine. Then you're sleeping on the couch."

Sam doesn't even protest, lets himself be pushed in the direction of the living room where the couch with the blanket thrown over the back is. He bumps his elbow on the wall on the way there and it's probably a good thing he didn't chance going upstairs. "The faith healer was Cas," Dean tells her. "Guess he wasn't as dead as we thought."

"And he didn't try to contact you?"

"Had God-given amnesia or something," Dean answers with a shrug. "Anyway, we found Sam and he couldn't cure him, so he did a crazy swap. So we left him there. And, I mean, he's protected, but there's not much more than that we can do."

From what she's managed to gather, Cas is just as bad at dying as the Winchesters are. "Who's Sam's 'girlfriend?' Some nurse?"

Shaking his head, Dean says, "There's this demon named Meg who I swear is like this cat. Keeps leaving him presents. The day the Apocalypse started she left him a fruit basket - I'm being literal, Edible Arrangements and everything - and has now helped us out twice. I don't trust her, but she needs Cas as much as we need her so I think he's in good hands."

"Wait, a  _demon_ can like someone?" She's been possessed before and even if she doesn't like to think about, she remembers the feeling enough to know that probably isn't possible.

Again, he just shrugs. "I don't know. But Meg's a little...weird. By Hell standards. Crowley has the equivalent to an APB out on her ass right now. So I feel skeevy, but Sam's good now so I can deal."

God, her head hurts. It's like every time she thinks she's finally starting to understand something in Huntingland, something else comes out of nowhere and tears it to shreds. Nice demons. Or at least a neutral demon. Who has a thing for Sam Winchester. Right. Cool. "Can you stay for a while?" she asks. "You know, while Sam recovers. You look like you need it and it's been a long time since you've stayed for more than a few days at a time."

He gives her a smile, small and exhausted. "I was planning on it," he answers. It's also his birthday soon, though she doubts he's remembering that right now. She wants to do something. "We can research from here, take a case if someone shoots us a call. How does that sound? Stay until we get a lead on the Leviathan problem?"

"Sounds perfect," she says, and is already trying to remember where she left that recipe for cherry pie.

 

 

January 24th, 2012, and Dean turns thirty-four. Ben drags him to his basketball game and Lisa finds an excuse to stay behind. Sam doesn't need one, two days later still barely able to keep away. Apparently ten day sleep deprivation, an insanity transfer, and whatever else went on those past few days left a mark. She makes pie and he wraps a bundle of pants and jeans she and Ben got his brother. Being in an institution meant he hadn't had time to get a gift, so he hand makes a card and folds it into a paper airplane. Her message is scribbled one side, short and sweet, and his on the other just says  _payback's a bitch, jerk._ He explains he's afraid of clowns and that his brother's a dick and got him a clown doll and that Dean's afraid of flying via anything but angel travel. Not that he likes that very much, either.

The night goes fine, both the Winchesters in a way better mood than they have been all year, and Dean lathers on compliments for her pie (which is typical, she  _is_ better at baking than real cooking, after all) that Sam even has a couple bites of, and hits his brother in the arm when he reads the card. Sam ends up crashing around ten upstairs and Ben does the same about an hour later. The two of them retreat to the bedroom not long after that. 

"When this is over," he says when they're done, showered with sheets changed and feeling altogether satisfied, "I think we might just...slow down. I don't know how stable Cas' band-aid cure is and I'm just fucking sick of the politics."

A small thrill goes through her; she doesn't mind the leaving, but having Dean here all the time like she use to is something she definitely prefers. Sam will have to stay since he has nowhere to go and honestly, now that he has a soul she'd much rather him here where he can't get in any more trouble and maybe even find some professional help. Finding an excuse as to  _why_ he's here along with her boyfriend, though, will be interesting. "You know the rules, Dean," she says, snuggling closer and remembering when she found it funny that someone as manly man as him actually knew how to cuddle. "This house  _is_ your too. And I'll be here."

He's looking away from her, out through the sliver of curtains that never really closes. "Hunting used to be fun, you know?" he says quietly. "Back when it was simple. Vengeful spirits and Bloody Mary and all that shit - me and Sammy have always had our problems but I remember when Dad stopped picking up his phone and that felt like the end of the world. Now it's  _this._ "

The world "this" comes out like it's poisonous. And considering what Leviathan blood looks like, she's surprised it isn't. After a moment of letting it sink in, she says, "When this is over, you should find a couple of this 'simple' hunts to do. For closure, or whatever."

His fingers run lightly down her spine. "Yeah. That actually sounds like a pretty good idea." Before she can say anything else, the phone rings. He swears and answers with, "What's going on Meg?"

Lisa's close enough to the phone that she hear the voice on the other line say " _I need to ask Moose a small favor_ " clearly enough.

Now Dean's whole body is tense. "Why?" he asks. "And don't you have his number?"

" _You think I didn't try his first?_ " she answers, irritated. " _No, Bertha Mason here is asking me for something in Enochian and the only words I can make out are 'you' and 'honey.' So I need a translator before I can go on break or he'll scare the next nurse._ "

Dean bites his lip before looking down at Lisa. "Fine, but I don't know if he'll remember anything. Hold on." She rolls off of him so he can stand. "Be back in a second," he adds, mouth twisted into a scowl before slipping out the door. Light spills in from the hallway and sliver of open curtain, but the room somehow feels darker without him.

 

 

A week later the Winchesters leave on a hunt to help out some poor guy whose parents were sadistic enough to name him Garth and neither look particularly pleased about it. Dean says it's because he's touchy and she laughs. Only  _he_ can dislike someone because he gives good hugs.

On their way home from that they get a distress call from a friend and need to turn around. Two days after that she receives a very awkward phone call that starts with the words " _So apparently Bobby's a ghost that's been following me and Sam around._ "

She nearly chokes on her coffee. "Excuse me?"

" _Uh, yeah._ " He sounds as awkward as she does. " _We burned his remains but he got attached to this flask._ "

"The one you keep in the jacket that's always with you?"

" _That's the one._ " A short silence. " _If it makes you feel any better, he sucks at being a ghost and keeps blacking out whenever he tries to move something. I didn't ask details._ "

God, she so did not need to know there's a very distinct possibility that the guy Dean sees as a deceased father figure saw them have sex. Just, he's  _Bobby._ That's worse than one of her neighbors. "Um, how about you never put that in the room again?" she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Jesus Christ. Where are you?"

" _Getting gas_ ," he answers. " _Sammy's buying us coffee for the road and talking to Meg because Cas decided to go back into Enochian baby babble. Damn long conversation for that, though. Can't head back yet. Leviathan info came up._ "

Even though this demon's supposedly a good guy, Lisa can still tell Dean doesn't like her very much and Sam just seems a little confused whenever she's brought up. "You know, she could be bored," she points out. "I thought being from Hell meant all the maiming and killing and you have her working at a mental hospital taking care of patients."

" _A patient. She only needs to take care of Cas._ "

"If she has a legit job, she's talking care of a whole wing at least." These two really don't think anything through. "If she's got a thing for Sam, no wonder she wants to talk to him."

Dean huffs like a little kid and she rolls her eyes. " _Don't remind me. We're not going through that shit again._ " He does this sometimes, eludes to some other demon they had a problem with but never given specifics. She doesn't ask. It's one of things that she has a feeling she doesn't want to know. " _Look, Sam's heading back this way and we better go before Dick Roman finds out where we are._ "

"Okay. Stay safe. I love you."

" _Love you too. Tell Ben I'll be there soon, okay?_ "

She promises she will and they hang up. The clock lets her know she'll have to speed if she wants to get to work on time.

 

 

Even though they've always used their house (because it's not her house anymore - they've got clothes here and belongings and keys) - as a safe haven almost exclusively lately, the brothers head off to their friend's old cabin. Meg's there apparently, a still-crazy Cas, a prophet, and they're summoning Crowley. Understandably, they don't what her and Ben around that. She's not complaining. 

Also, she doubts Meg and Cas could get in here in the first place. 

Dean lets her know they've got a pretty solid plan and they're heading out tomorrow. That they've even got a small army on their side. Passes off the phone to Sam too, and he's usually less into sugarcoating, so she trusts his conviction too. When he hands to phone back to his brother, they exchange  _I love you'_ s and as she hangs up, she hears another woman's voice coo in the background, followed by Dean's muffled "Do you  _want_ me to kill you?"

They sound all assured and hopeful. They've got an angel on their side who can heal them, even while crazy. But that doesn't make the bad feeling go away.

 

 

When her doorbell rings like it did the first time this happened, it's Sam who's alone and miserable at the door instead of Dean. She gathers him into his hug like she had to his brother two years earlier and takes him inside. He's gone, he says into her shoulder. They're all gone.

She understands the implication - not just Dean, but the other three too. Bobby months before. She begs him to stay here even before he says her boyfriend's probably in Purgatory instead of dead, but he just shakes his head. "Need to clean up the mess," he says. "When it's done, Lisa. But - he'd want me too."

That's bullshit and they both know it. Maybe eventually, but not immediately. Not when Sam's mind is still reeling from losing four people at once and not even two months ago he was locked in a psych ward for talking to Lucifer. He says he'll look from here though, after that's done. Promises her. And she knows that's the best she's going to get. 

She's just hopes he's better at keeping promises than his brother.

 

 

Though not as often as Dean used to, Sam still checks in pretty regularly. So when it's been three days, she starts checking her phone nonstop and somehow misses the call.

She hits redial immediately. 

To her surprise, a woman picks up. " _Hello?_ " the other voice says. " _Lisa Braeden?_ "

Her last name is pronounced correctly, which means the woman is a friend. "Yes," Lisa answers, running her fingers through her hair. "Who is this? Where's Sam?"

" _Um, Sam's...sleeping_ ," the other woman says. " _This is Jody Mills. I'm the sheriff in Sioux Falls. He's in a hospital not far from me and I guess you're down as the second emergency contact because they tried you and Dean before calling me._ "

Hospital. Sam Winchester is in the  _hospital._ "Why?" she asks. "How badly hurt? I talked to him less than a week ago and he sounded fine."

" _From the sound of it he hasn't been eating or something. Hasn't been sleeping. But that's normal._ " Yeah, yeah it is, and she's pretty sure the boys have mentioned her before. " _Apparently he's also got some blood condition and had a stomach bug or something._ "

"Has he woken up?"

" _For about half a second._ " A pause. " _Look, I know you're Dean's girl and if Dean didn't pick up then Sam's probably alone right now, but he's less than an hour from my house. I'm sure you want him around, but I'm thinking of asking him to stick with me. Doctor said he's not fit for long travel or driving._ "

Damn straight she wants him here, but Jody's got a point. "I'm sure you know about Ben," she says. "I'll try to swing by this weekend if he's up to it. No seizures, right?"

" _Not that I've been told._ "

She holds back a sigh. "Thanksfor telling me _,_ " she answers eventually. "The moment he's awake and coherent, he's calling me. I'll pick up. I don't care if it's three AM."

" _Okay. I'll let him know._ "

 

 

At midnight her phone rings. 

" _I've cleared out all the_   _Leviathan_ ," Sam tells her, exhausted. " _I wanted to call you, but this djinn came out of nowhere. And, uh, I think I'm staying away for a little bit._ "

It's midnight, she was about to go to bed, and now she's wide awake. "No, Sam," she insists. "You said you'd come -"

" _Djinn poison makes you crazy_ ," he cuts in. " _Didn't get enough for me to even need an antidote, just enough to pass out for about an hour. And, uh, whatever Cas did to my head didn't like it. Dean wouldn't want me anywhere near you alone like this until I get my head on straight. It's not as bad this time. I think I might try out medication._ "

"But -"

" _Lisa._ "

"Sam."

He sighs. " _I'll come by when I think I'm good. And I'll check in every day, okay?  If I don't call, feel free to call me if you're still willing to put with me -_ " Jesus Christ, sometimes she forgets he's as bad as Dean. Dean who's missing and Sam intends to find. Alone. "-  _but only my personal. Uh, I'm ditching my others._ "

"Why?"

" _I guess this time my hallucinations really like phones._ "

Not long after they hang up she doesn't even notice Ben entered the room until he asks why she's crying. He's as miserable as she is lately, the man who was practically or possibly biologically his father stuck in Purgatory, and the last thing he needs is to find out Sam's hurt. But she can't exactly lie when she gets like this, so she explains.

Ben's face falls. "What kind of hurt?"

Honestly, she doesn't even know what to say. "Remember last year, honey?" she says. "Well, something made that come back, and he's waiting to see how bad it is before he comes over again."

Her son disappears without a word and Lisa flops back into the chair, struggling not to cry harder. She made a family and now it's in pieces.

 

 

It's Christmas and Sam swings by with a bottle of wine and presents. He looks less tired than usual. "I started medication," he tells her when Ben, who's fourteen now and probably doesn't need to be treated like he can't hear anything like this anymore but still is, leaves the room. "Found a psychiatrist who used to be a hunter. Said it should take about five weeks for it to kick in."

Lisa doesn't even want to think about how that appointment must've gone down. "That's good," she says with a smile. "You told him to use the CVS in town, right?"

When he nods, she's not sure if she should be surprised or not. He's been acting pretty distracted ever since the incident with the djinn and she has a feeling medication was a spontaneous decision. "He told me to take a break until the five weeks are up," he adds awkwardly and she wonders if medications means she'll eventually be able to give him a hug without causing him to spiral into a panic attack. "And, uh, I thought of something to look into for getting Dean back. Pretty obvious too."

"What is it?"

"Well, Crowley said Purgatory is Hell adjacent -" he starts and that's enough for her to know this is about to lead into a really, really bad idea.

"If your plan is to find a way to get into Hell to find Purgatory," she cuts in because Dean is the love of her life but he'd never forgive her if she let his baby brother take a trip through the place that drove him nuts, "then I will literally find a way to keep you under house arrest if I have to. How would you get yourself out? Another field trip through Hell? Do you really want put  _both_ of you through that?" He must understand that. "I'm sorry, Sam, but you're going back to the books on this one.”

For a moment, he doesn't say anything before sighing. "Guess you're right," he mumbles. "Besides, don't want Dean to end up like me." His smile is sad.

Christmas is bittersweet, but Sam remembered she liked cherry blossom body spray and she considers this a good thing.

 

 

When Lisa gets the call, Sam's in Montana getting his first official prescription. She drops work immediately - says it's a family emergency because technically it is -and picks up Ben from school. They don't have to wait long before Sam opens the front door and she feels like a wife whose husband just returned from war when she throws herself at Dean. Ben's there, too, clinging to his side, and he and Sam must've taken a pit-stop somewhere because he smells like cheap shampoo, and the shirt he's wearing is his brother's. 

"Told you I'd come him, didn't I?" he says, leaning back a little so he can see their faces. "Turns out my timing just isn't all that good."

"You  _think?_ " she answers, and she can't stop touching him. She's had this dream a hundred times and it's hard to believe it's finally real. "Just - how did you get out?"

Sam has a look on his face that means he wasn't the one who did it when Dean says, "I'll explain when I don't feel like I'm about to fall over, okay? Jesus, Ben, when you'd get so tall?"

Their son is practically vibrating with excitement. Dean's hardened around the edges, but all smiles at the sight of them, and Lisa feels better than she has in eleven months. 

 

 

She figures out pretty quickly that Dean's getting twitchy without something to fight after a year of never slowing down. He and his brother found out that Kevin Tran had been calling for the past four months and after much assurance that he'd be fine, (an unfairly guilty) Sam left on his own to help the poor kid out. This time around it's Ben who tells him he should go help out too and it really doesn't take much arguing to get him to agree. Says something doesn't feel right and if hunting will help him get some sleep after all the shit he went through this past year, she's still okay with doing what she's been doing now for years. 

Two days later the Winchesters come back, whatever the problem was only half solved, and Sam barely makes it to the bedroom to crash, ignoring the blood on his forehead. "Ben is the easiest teenager in existence," Dean mumbles into his pillow not ten minutes later, looking up at her with his eyes half closed and dirt still stuck to his skin. "He should - he should skip school tomorrow so we can do something. S'been a while."

"Okay," she says and pulls the blankets up to their necks. "Okay, we will."

They have a lot of lost time to make up for.

 

 

" _So Cas is back. Apparently._ "

"Really? How?"

" _Says he doesn't remember, but I don't know, I'm calling bullshit._ "

She pauses in her search through the cabinets for something to make for dinner. "Why?"

" _He was just acting...weird. Sam could probably answer it better but, uh, he's not doing so hot right now._ "

Uh-oh. Dean had been rambling on about a week ago about how the psychiatrist is some kind of miracle worker for getting it right on the first try. She asks, "What happened?"

" _I left them alone for ten minutes and Cas decided to transport them inside a guy's head - long story. Uh, I'm not sure if that's what set him off or the touching thing, but he's kind of fucked right now._ "

"Are you on your way here?" The clock reads  _5:15_ ; Ben will be home soon. 

The other line crackles before Dean answers, " _No, we're taking a detour. That's what I'm calling about. He's acting the way he used to before he'd get a seizure so I don't want to keep him in the car._ "

Even though she understands, she still feels disappointed. But she also knows something went down between the brothers that wasn't good (though she doesn't know what happened exactly) and if they need to stop for a few days to recuperate, maybe that's a good thing. Unfortunately, with her work load pushing her over, she's not going to be able to make Ben's game and was hoping Dean could.

Maybe he'll still make it in time, she tells herself, but doubts it. The Winchesters don't have that sort of luck.

" _Fuck,_ " Dean says following a bang, " _I was - gotta go, Lis. Call you back._ "

He hangs up before she can say goodbye and she has a feeling Dean predicted right.

 

 

For a while, they've been planning on going on a vacation, Dean calming down from his year in Purgatory, Sam getting worse, and they've been a family for so long that they deserve for one. But she's only mad when her boyfriend says that's not happening for all of five seconds because he follows it up with, " _So apparently our grandfather on our dad's side was part of a secret society and can time travel, so he left us with a key and now we have a protected bunker and you should take a road trip because this is basically a vacation._ "

"You're shitting me, right?" she answers because there's no damn way this is true. 

" _No, I'm not kidding. I'll give you a place to meet. You have to see it. There's water and electricity and a whole damn kitchen I've already stocked._ "

Oh, Dean and his cooking. She's already sold. "Deal," she says. "I'll talk to Ben. But Kansas isn't better than New York, you know. Also, you're telling me more about your time travelling grandfather. That's not supposed to happened twice."

He laughs. " _He's basically Sammy if he was a wimp who grew up not hunting. Demon killed him, but she's been neutralized. The whole damn place is protected, too. Nothing can come in unless we say it's okay. Sam's trying to figure out how that works. Think he still feels bad about not finding Meg._ "

Which he shouldn't. Dean didn't see the full extent of his meltdown, but it was bad. "Ben's break starts in two days. This is going to be a bitch of a drive, you know _._ "

" _Yeah, sorry about that. I'd come and get you if I could. Or have Cas figure something out, but he's MIA._ "

"Still?"

" _Hasn't answered. If Sam's trying to call too, then he ain't listening to either of us._ "

God, that's insane. From what she's managed to gather, Dean worked hard to try and get him out of Purgatory too, going so far to delay his own exit, and now the angel isn't answering. Now she doesn't know him and he still sounds like he's a good guy, but what she hears of him is all the bad stuff. So it's no wonder that she's not surprised. "We'll see you Saturday or Sunday," she says. "I love you. Bye."

" _Love you too. Give you a call tomorrow._ "

They hang up and Lisa wonders how she's supposed to tell her son they're going to Kansas instead of New York.

 

 

They go to a nearby Target, her dragging him for room decorations because they have an unspoken agreement that suddenly they have two houses to share instead of one. It's a little different now considered this was left to him and honestly, it's pretty wonderful. Ben's in love with it already (it probably helps that he and Tommy keep fighting over Olivia Peck so he has nothing to do on weekends). Her not so much. Or not yet anyway.

When she suggests a Memory Foam bed set, Dean rolls his eyes. "We're fine without one," he says. "I've grown up in motels all my life and you have a normal one back home."

 _Home._ She loves it when he says that and wonders if eventually he'll call this place too. Maybe her, even, as not even a first trip here and she already has a part of a wardrobe, but she just can't help it; vintage is in, those clothes are still good quality, and she's found a lot that fit her. "It's not like we're paying a mortgage for the place," she points out. "Let's splurge a little. It'll be fun. C'mon, just the two of us. Consider it an early birthday present to me."

It takes half an hour of squabbling, but she wins like usual. The next morning she wakes up on top of him rather than the mattress anyway. 

 

 

"Dean," she hears her son say from the other room, their house a lot smaller than the bunker, "is something going on with you guys?"

There's a pause and she can practically hear his reluctance. "Sam's just an idiot sometimes," Dean answers. "I thought you already knew that."

A shrug, Lisa's guessing. "He's alone all the time. It's like when you were gone." Then another pause. "You aren't leaving again, are you?"

"What?" he says, and his voice is blank. "Ben, I didn't  _want_ to. I'm not - You guys are here. So I'm here, got it?"

"Okay."

"I mean it. Me and Sam aren't going anywhere."

But this means at least one of them might be going somewhere and she hadn't realized their son is so perceptive.

 

 

After months of hearing about the demon chick, she finally meets Meg. It's weird to see someone she knows isn't human somewhere that's so heavily protected. Normally she wouldn't even make it down, but Easter leads to another long weekend even if it's not spring break and Ben and Tommy are fighting again. Their family also isn't particularly religious, so she isn't obligated to do family things, and Dean's disappearance a year and a half earlier made her shut down from her friends. She has a feeling that's what happened to her son too. 

It's not a healthy. But branching out is difficult when you can't explain you aren't delusional and the man you know is coming back isn't dead but you can't explain where he's gone. With Ben, it's just that he grows up looking like Dean more and more every day and Tommy's remained plain and Olivia Peck only has eyes for one of them. So all in all, not good.

Unsurprisingly, Meg's kind of a bitch. "So you're Big Brother's unicorn," she says, crossing her legs and leaning forward so her elbows hit the table. Sam rolls his eyes. "You've done a wonderful job domesticating him."

 _Domesticating_ makes her instantly defensive, the demon inside her head that one time having said the same thing. "I never did anything to him," she answers, folding her arms.

"That's not what she means," Sam says, focusing on the paper. "Meg's not articulate."

"Really, baby? Been around seven hundred years and  _I'm_ not articulate?"

He ignores her. "She just means people like you are rare. Consider it a compliment. Just backwards." So this is a translation. From the way Meg's looking at him, Lisa's wondering why Dean ever said she had a thing for him.

"Shut up, Moose. Is that any way to talk to your friend?"

Shutting his book, he says, "Yeah, when you're  _distracting_ me. Tell Dean I don't want to eat if you see him. Bye, Lisa."

And as he walks away: "Hey, aren't you forgetting someone, Wonder Boy?"

"Bother me later, princess."

Meg stares, flabbergasted, as he turns the corner, laughing harder than Lisa's heard in a long, long time.

 

 

Last time she saw Dean cry, Bobby had just died. Now he's not sobbing loudly or anything, same as then, but he's so overwhelmed that he's not really hiding it. "We're probably not coming back until the Trials are done, Lisa," he tells her, hunched over himself and listening to Sam cough in the next room. "We're going to take a stop to see Kevin, but I'm not sure he'll be able to leave after that. And I don't want to leave him alone."

She drapes herself across his shoulders, leans her head beneath his chin. Sam's looking real bad, and she threatened to put him under house arrest if he went and did this exact this not a year earlier. So much for that. "I'll come over when you're done," she promises, voice quiet in the darkness. Dean still has tears rolling down his face and his eyes are looking greener than usual in the half-light. "Ben ends school in a few weeks."

Reaching up to rub his eyes dry, he says, "Don't remind me. Sam's birthday's coming up too, and this better not end then. He - well, he just doesn't like his birthday."

Sam's birthday is May 2nd. Ben's is May 10th. He let slip that he doesn't care what Dean gets him, just that the two of them are here. They've watered down the situation to him, but haven't left him in the dark. If she goes to Kansas before this thing is done, she'll have to own up to it completely. With a small smile, she says, "You know the drill, Dean. I want updates. Every day."

He lays his head on top of hers. "Can't say I'll call," he answers, "but I'll shoot you a text if I'm too busy."

She hadn't expected anything else, but she can live with just a text. She's lost him once, can't do it again, and she can handle a few weeks alone. Maybe this time everything will work out in the end. Maybe everything will be all right.

And maybe she should redefine her definition. Experience says not to get her hopes up.

 

(experience, she finds weeks later, is usually right)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is my fourteenth story on this account and I still suck at endings. Sorry.


End file.
